Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ok, so I was sulking...

...wouldn't you? I just realised that not everyone on this blog actually know me, so I'd like to apologise for calling ALL of you wimps...

Fact remains... and it's quite an ironic one... that not so long after I joined this blog, I was diagnosed with a rare type of cervical cancer, and even writing it here feels kinda weird because I know how weird it is for people dealing with other people who have (semi)terminal diseases such as this. I'm not writing any of this for sympathy or empathy or any effect at all, I'm just writing because this is what I would have done even if I wasn't sick. In a way I guess I'm hoping to get a 'normal' or 'honest' response from people in cyberspace, because I don't get it in physical interaction. And of course because we were on the topic to start with... although, not many of us for that matter... what's the matter? Why have only so few people contributed?

It might seem a little morbid to try and entice you all to contribute to this topic in spite of your not having done so before, but I'm going to try anyway. It just seems such a serendipitous event, the existence of this blog (well, for me anyway), that I would be foolish to not respond to it. SO, I'd really LOVE to hear (without ruining the comical angle one is prone to take) what your take is on dying. More precisely, if you KNEW you were going to die, how would you choose for it to happen? What would the things be that you'd do once you knew? Would you fight to stay put and why? I'd really love to know your take on it...

:)
Mikki

5 comments:

margretbencon9508 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Marit Cooper said...

I will think about this for a while Mikki and I will post shortly.

Adman said...

Seems that whenever you write the replies or comments that get posted get deleted... Now perhaps that has something to do with death Im not sure...

Only reason I have not commented until now is that I could not find the blog and our friend "EvilStu" seems to drop off the earth for months at a time (as we all know he seems to do this from time to time).

Back to the topic of death. I'm not sure I could tell you what I would choose to do knowing that my days were numbered. Every time I have thought about it I have either come up blank or have had a few thoughts that contradicted one another...

This brings me to your idea of watching clouds from a grassy knoll, for some reason I seem to feel like I've been there before and the thought of it puts a smile on my face... and then I remember 2 people trying to sort out washing and not making any sense of it all...

Perhaps that is what death has in-store for us... a little bit of humour and a little confusion.

templar said...

mikki, as you know my father died of cancer. as with most people i know who die of cancer, he died 2years after being diagnosed (a curious observation that i'll follow another time). my point is that i had 2years to come to terms with it and resolve any issues i had with him. this is an opportunity i do appreciate having but i'm even more grateful that i didnt have to use it. there was nothing of any significance i felt i had to resolve.

i guess my advice is that, like a drawing or a painting, life is better lived in layers. have a vision of how it will eventually look but dont work in detail from one corner to the other. do a quick sketch of the whole thing. then add some definition. then some basic shading. then more and more detail. this way u can stop at any point and have a 'finished product'

Mikki said...

Adman, in my fantasy there is no washing... :) Funny how some things stick in your mind isn't it?

Trikki, your gift of seeing the world in technicolour is enviable. My problem has always been my indecision/inability to choose what the picture should be. Talk about a fear of commitment. Is it for having too many choices? Or that you want some sort of 'certainty' (translate 'guarantee') that you're making the right/best choice? If you don't know what you're drawing then I suppose it doesn't really matter how you're colouring it in. You either hope for the best or for someone whose picture you like to dare risk it by inviting you to draw along. Is art suppose to scare us so much?